two country dads

Good session today. Feel really connected to and relaxed with our social worker. We are able to have a natter as well as the heavy stuff. She seems to really "get" us and seems very much like she is on our side. She was concerned that Ben was ok after last weeks session and it was nice that she seemed genuinely interested in us. She also said that we will be going to panel in march and that was as we excepted but its still a little crazy to think about. Ben and I had a good talk after about how we feel it is all going and both seem"on the same page". It is a funny feeling really that as it goes on we seem to be more accepting of the realities of having a kid. I can't see why we wouldn't get approved and matched. We watched Patrik aged 1,5 last night and it is a sweet film and worth a watch.

We had our Forth home visit today. Going onto Ben's childhood experiences. We always knew his was going to be more complicated and our SW was prepared. Ben's family has some divorces in it and a lot of 1/2 and step siblings. His childhood was also a little tougher than mine so it will probably take a little longer to go over and for the SW to get her head around. It was quiet an emotional experience for me as I had to just listen - trying not to jump in too often. I know most of the stories but seeing ben relive it wasn't easy. Afterwards he was a little worried that maybe it didn't show him in a good light. I think it makes him the perfect adoptive parent as he understands what it means to have a complicated and challenging start. My experience is all form when I was grown up and working with kids with behavioural problems ben's experience is built into the core of him. The SW asked him to think more about the long term affects of his early childhood and we can

We have just finished our third session with our social worker. Today I finished off going over my family history etc. it is a strange experience really, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my past or how it affects me now. I had a relatively simple homelike I think but was badly bullied at secondary school. It's strange going over things and is sort of cathartic really. It's funny hearing someone else relay your information back to you. Lesley is lovely and seems to really connect to us and I thinks finds us vaguely amusing ( think that's a positive!?) she did manage to reflect back to me that I use the word "control" a lot and now I feel very aware of it ... Also we had an odd moment when we were talking about my expectations of other. Neither off us could articulate what we were trying to say. It's so easy to get defensive and feel like you're being tricked into saying something bad, I know we're not and we both feel she is very much on o

This week we have both had our medicals, very painless, just the basics. Actually it was the first time we've met our dr (lived here for two years but not needed to go yet) he was very nice and didn't bat an eyelid about it being for us to adopt. That was nice! As joined up to new social network (have to ring to confirm tomorrow) I have never belonged to an lgbt group before and is something I would have probably scoffed at before now. But I see how important it would be for any child to mix with parents who are lgbt. Also I thin the support that it provides is so valuable for us. Right off home for dinner then we have our next meeting with our social worker tomorrow. I have to finish off talking about my childhood then maybe onto Ben's. we are both up to date on all our "homework" so feeling a little smug. Will update tomorrow .... Oh and this week I have been really up and down on the whole idea of having a kid. Reading the two guys adopting blog gives m

This blog is inspired by Fernando @  www.twoguysadopting.com . I have been reading their Blog about their journey and it is a great help. I figure we should document our experince of trying to adopt living in cornwall as a gay couple. I hope it helps others and also that one day our child or children will be able to read it back and have a record of our time together. Ben and I have been together for Five years and we had our Civil Partnership earlier this year. As I said we live in Cornwall and we started our adoption journey in August this year. I think the laws have changed somewhat since the Two Guys were going throught the system. So here goes this our journey so far .... We have been to the introduction meeting. This is a very informal meeting where we were given a lot of information and basically asked if it has put us off ... it didn't. So we then had an interview at home with a social worker. Stef came to our house and we talked a little about ourselves and o