two country dads

Profile received and read last night. I had to Skype Ben as he is still away and I wasn't waiting a whole day before reading the profile. It was all ok really, few questions that need clarification but he sounds like a good match to us. We text out SW last night and asked her to try and arrange a visit by his SW. Fingers crossed they think we're a good match. So ts a small step, but it's definitely a step in te right direction. So time for more waiting ......

It's a funny process really, Just over a year ago we went to an informal meeting about maybe adopting one day. We thought it would be about a three year wait until we actually had a kid moving in. Then you realise the whole thing is a lot quicker. Almost a year after starting our home visits we have been through a huge amount of naval gazing, talking about our childhoods, our relationships, our expectations etc. We have had the highs and lows of turning down two profiles. Then today I'm full of anxiety and tension about the possibility of the profile being dropped off tonight. From the brief profile he seems like a great match but what if there is more in his CPR, what if his SW doesn't think we're suitable, what if, what if .... What if so many things. So what has this process taught me about myself? I don't like waiting, I don't like being out of control, I form very strong attachments very quickly without a huge amount of information. I really want to be

FYI This post is mainly going to focus on the idea that I'm trying to be calm and not getting overexcited but I think it's only fair to tell you that the truth is my stomach is in knots and I want to jump around. I have to convince myself I'm calm and what will be will be. We spoke last week about maybe not looking at BMP for a while as it was getting us down not hearing back about enquires and also we were just getting a bit overwhelmed by it all. We met up with our friends who adopted two boys last month and we spent the morning with them and it was lovely, they have settled into the madness really well and it was so great to see them as a family. But it did make me very sad after. I felt like I needed to make it less of a priority. Hence not posting too much on here either. But ....... Last Sunday Ben had a glance thru BMP whilst we were having our tea and although I was trying not to engage with it he found a profile of a 4 year old boy who was very cute and his pro