Adoption process shows you what you're made of

It's a funny process really,

Just over a year ago we went to an informal meeting about maybe adopting one day. We thought it would be about a three year wait until we actually had a kid moving in. Then you realise the whole thing is a lot quicker. Almost a year after starting our home visits we have been through a huge amount of naval gazing, talking about our childhoods, our relationships, our expectations etc. We have had the highs and lows of turning down two profiles. Then today I'm full of anxiety and tension about the possibility of the profile being dropped off tonight. From the brief profile he seems like a great match but what if there is more in his CPR, what if his SW doesn't think we're suitable, what if, what if .... What if so many things.

So what has this process taught me about myself? I don't like waiting, I don't like being out of control, I form very strong attachments very quickly without a huge amount of information. I really want to be a dad.

I literally can't concentrate on anything today. I'm trying hard not to spend the day reading his BMP profile, trying hard not to think about all the things that could go wrong and trying hard not to plan how we'll manage with a four year old. I'm failing on nearly all counts.


Comments

  1. msjobloggs222 September 2013 at 06:06

    Following your posts and thinking of you, fingers crossed on this one. I haven't been through the adoption process but I can totally relate to this post from trying for a baby through fertility treatment. Not being able to stop thinking about it, the highs and lows of setting your hopes on a pregnancy/match and then having to let it go, and being in the weird position that the thing you want most in the world, and which will change your life forever, is something that you have very little control over. Obviously there are lots of particular challenges (and joys) with adoption that aren't there with other ways of becoming a family, but I'm just struck here by what is universal in the desire to have a child. Thank you for sharing your experience, and hang in there, your child is out there and will find you when the time is right.

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  2. Unknown22 September 2013 at 13:28

    Thanks Ms Jo Bloggs,

    Great to hear from you (and that people read this!?) speaking with friends this weekend who are on the IVF route and it is funny that whatever the journey is to becoming a parent (if its not done "naturally") then they all share similar ups and downs.

    It's lovely to think that our child is out there (we're really hopeful it the profile we've got at the mo)

    Good luck with the fertility thing and hope it's not too long a journey for you.

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