two country dads

Haven't updated this for a while as we have had a very busy summer at work and not a very busy time on the adoption front. Be My Parent is a great resource but its also quiet soulless and disheartening at times. We've made 4 enquiries and received two responses. One the profile doesn't go into the child's medical issues and question marks the other has already been linked. The other two profiles we've heard nothing back from even though I've followed up with a direct email. So looking back on BMP there are 100's of profiles and looking through them is draining. We also haven't heard much from our SW (it's summer holidays so I get that it'll be quieter). She has said we've been looked at for profiles but because of location not been able to be considered. We know that it will happen but I think we're both getting a little impatient at the mo. it's hard to plan anything at the mo because we don't know what will happen. I think wh...

This week we joined be my parent and have expressed interest in two separate profiles. First one the SW phoned the next morning. The second one we haven't heard anything from, its not been long so not to worry, also it's August so SW may be away on holiday etc. my logical brain is screaming at me to calm down and get on with things however every five minutes I'm checking my phone to see if I've missed a call. Refreshing emails every few minutes just in case (in case of what I don't know - not expecting an email from anyone). I'm sure I've said it before - and will say it again in the future - but this process makes you crazy. Last night I woke up in the middle of a dream about one of the profiles, I jumped out of bed (responding to an imagined cry from the spare room) with my heart racing.

I signed us up to be my parent yesterday and Ben logged in and had a look around and or child jumped out at us so I hit the enquire button. This morning we had a call from his SW. She is going to make contact with our SW and his details are being sent down. Crazy that it's so quick or maybe just reassuring!

We're coming up to three months since our approval and are getting things going with being able to search for children out of county. We have asked our SW to get us on the national register and have got access to profile via New Family Social. It is strange to ne start actively looking at profiles. It's a very odd feeling. A word or phrase in a report just makes you think 'no' or if you don't see any issues you start thinking could this be 'the one' and freak out! It's not helped that Ben has been away for two days so ive been sitting over thinking things. I'm going to get s on be y parent and children who wait as well just so we an over load on profiles! It's very exciting but extremely daunting as well. The roller coaster continues ......

I have to vent the "child crazy" mood I'm in and dear blog that is why you're here so forgive me but .... I WANT OUR CHILD - NOW - please and thank you. Phew. Glad that's out. We're not linked our anything and haven't heard any news for a while but I'm literally obsessed with thinking about having a kid. Our lovely friends from prep group are meeting their two (greedy) sons tomorrow and now schools have broken up our shop is full of young families. I think I freak the kids out by being so catty with them. They ave a look of "dude back off and stop being odd" also with the schools breaking up comes an end to my weekly volunteering at the reception class so I don't even get a morning talking to little ones. I feel like I'm going a loopy. There is nothing to be done about this apart from get over myself and be logical - today neither of these things are happening. Anyway that's it - nothing of interest to report apart from my...

I have no news apart from we have no news! Haven't heard anything from SW so no new matches. We have another month to wait before we can go on the national register so can't be proactive yet. Keep trying to say to ourselves (and everyone who asks) that actually it's a good thing and we're really busy with work so we're happy to wait but we really want a kid. We are volunteering at pre school and primary school and this morning I drove past Ben walking with two kids holding his hand and it floored me - felt so overwhelmed with emotion about seeing him as a dad. Actually makes me feel teary thinking about it again whilst I type. We are also meeting up this weekend with our friends from prep group. One couple have their son who we'll meet for the first time (!) the others are going to matching panel next week and fostering panel the week after to get two brothers (adopt one and foster other as he's new born and may go back to birth family). We really are th...

Well it's been a long and emotional weekend but we have come to the conclusion that this little boy isn't for us. We're equally sad and relieved. He will make a family a great son but not us. It's hard to define why but it comes down to feelings and a lot of uncertainty with him. I think if you took one "issue" away from him the others would be ok but as a combination it is just too much for us right now. We did acknowledge that if we had already adopted and were looking to do it again the we probably would have been able to cope with it but as our first child it is just too much for us. We're a little sad and a little relieved. It has also helped us focus on what we do want. So back to the waiting game .... The roller coaster continues.