Prep Group - session 1

Just got home after our first day of prep group.

Really interesting day with a huge amount of info given over. It was mainly sitting a listening today with the day being split into sessions on who the children in care are. Abuse and it affects. Attachment. then there was supposed to be a session on medical histories but the Dr couldn't make it last minute. In a way I was glad because by that point I had reached information overload.

The group were fun and fairly mixed. Two older couples each with birth children, one older woman looking to adopt on her own. Three 30 something straight couple and us. Good cross section of experiences and wants.

I will try and go into more detail after the course is finished and I have had time to process it all. The main thing that struck me today was how hard it must be for younger straight couple to go thru this process. The impact on the women must be huge and there emotional desire to give birth. It must be difficult for them to hear about birth mothers giving up children. It is a huge presumption and note back up by any fact - and in no way would I mean to offend anyone who reads this - but it was just a feeling I had today.

All in all a great day with some amazing information. Very much looking forward to tomorrow - and in need of a quiet night in front of the fire.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Third assessment session done

We have just finished our third session with our social worker. Today I finished off going over my family history etc. it is a strange experience really, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my past or how it affects me now. I had a relatively simple homelike I think but was badly bullied at secondary school. It's strange going over things and is sort of cathartic really. It's funny hearing someone else relay your information back to you. Lesley is lovely and seems to really connect to us and I thinks finds us vaguely amusing ( think that's a positive!?) she did manage to reflect back to me that I use the word "control" a lot and now I feel very aware of it ... Also we had an odd moment when we were talking about my expectations of other. Neither off us could articulate what we were trying to say. It's so easy to get defensive and feel like you're being tricked into saying something bad, I know we're not and we both feel she is very much on o
Read more

I think we're matched .....

this feels like the closest and most real we've got to being dads .... Little ones social workers came to visit yesterday and we spoke about him for about two hours. It was a gloriously sunny evening in our back garden, where we got married 4 years ago, and we found out all about him. It was odd because as we spoke it kept feeling more and more that this was our son, even the stuff that is challenging about his behaviors I was starting to feel protective over him. It is strange to try and put into words how connected and attached we both feel towards him - we had to stop ourselves from just saying yes there and then. We took the dogs for a LONG walk, talk over every aspect, the "challenges" we may face and how we would approach them. We both ended the walk sure that this boy could be our son. And that is a freaky feeling! We have spoken to our social worker today and they have spoken to his social worker and they are very pleased we are progressing. So it's ti
Read more

End of intros and first few days at home

Apologies for the lack of posting but the end of intros and moving in was hectic and full on. It is 11.55pm and I have finally sat down and am able to type this up. The theme for the end of intros and first few days at home are pretty similar. Lots of amazingly lovely times with feeling of bonding and love growing with big moments of being tested and pushed and thing what the hell are we doing!! Those moments are brief and totally outnumbered by the good stuff. the hardest moment has been driving away from the foster home - the look on the foster carers face broke my heart then asking LO if he was sad and he breaking into massive sobs was so hard to watch. I was sitting in the back of the car with LO and could only cuddle him and say it was good to cry and that he was so brave. Speaking to the foster carer later in the day she was so upset it was really tricky. They have really giving our little one the start in life his birth family couldn't. If I thought the roller coaster
Read more