two country dads

It's been a big day in our house this morning. Ben and I have decided to put our adoption journey on hold for a few months. We are making lots of changes to the structure of our business and both are looking into retraining. We have always maintained that we can juggle the adoption and these changes and in theory we could, but we are both shattered with all the logistics and the financial uncertainty that come with the changes that we know we need to be responsible and step back, it may end up only being for 6 months over this winter but that would be enough to get us going again. It may end up being longer (if we considered retraining fully - I may do a degree?!) but after a long and very emotional talk this morning we feel that we would be ok to wait. We're only 33 and still feel that we have time on our side. It's hard as we have been so focused on adoption for over a year now that stepping back seems a little odd but we know, deep down under the sadness, that this is th...

Ok stay with me on this one ..... I don't mean to say kids are often red or green, unreliable and often a bit stinky - although!? We have been waiting to hear back from the SW of the profile we've read of an out of county child who we are really keen on but sadly haven't had a response. We know he has a new SW so this may have something to do with it. Then on Wednesday we get a call from our SW to say there is an in county profile they wanted us to look at so we have and we're going to try and get some more info on them as well. Last report was from May and they will have started preschool in Sept and it will be interesting to find out how that is going - they have some social anxieties that might make it challenging but will be very reviewing to see how the change is coped with. So "kids are like buses" refers to the frequency they turn up not the other things.

Profile received and read last night. I had to Skype Ben as he is still away and I wasn't waiting a whole day before reading the profile. It was all ok really, few questions that need clarification but he sounds like a good match to us. We text out SW last night and asked her to try and arrange a visit by his SW. Fingers crossed they think we're a good match. So ts a small step, but it's definitely a step in te right direction. So time for more waiting ......

It's a funny process really, Just over a year ago we went to an informal meeting about maybe adopting one day. We thought it would be about a three year wait until we actually had a kid moving in. Then you realise the whole thing is a lot quicker. Almost a year after starting our home visits we have been through a huge amount of naval gazing, talking about our childhoods, our relationships, our expectations etc. We have had the highs and lows of turning down two profiles. Then today I'm full of anxiety and tension about the possibility of the profile being dropped off tonight. From the brief profile he seems like a great match but what if there is more in his CPR, what if his SW doesn't think we're suitable, what if, what if .... What if so many things. So what has this process taught me about myself? I don't like waiting, I don't like being out of control, I form very strong attachments very quickly without a huge amount of information. I really want to be ...

FYI This post is mainly going to focus on the idea that I'm trying to be calm and not getting overexcited but I think it's only fair to tell you that the truth is my stomach is in knots and I want to jump around. I have to convince myself I'm calm and what will be will be. We spoke last week about maybe not looking at BMP for a while as it was getting us down not hearing back about enquires and also we were just getting a bit overwhelmed by it all. We met up with our friends who adopted two boys last month and we spent the morning with them and it was lovely, they have settled into the madness really well and it was so great to see them as a family. But it did make me very sad after. I felt like I needed to make it less of a priority. Hence not posting too much on here either. But ....... Last Sunday Ben had a glance thru BMP whilst we were having our tea and although I was trying not to engage with it he found a profile of a 4 year old boy who was very cute and his pro...

Haven't updated this for a while as we have had a very busy summer at work and not a very busy time on the adoption front. Be My Parent is a great resource but its also quiet soulless and disheartening at times. We've made 4 enquiries and received two responses. One the profile doesn't go into the child's medical issues and question marks the other has already been linked. The other two profiles we've heard nothing back from even though I've followed up with a direct email. So looking back on BMP there are 100's of profiles and looking through them is draining. We also haven't heard much from our SW (it's summer holidays so I get that it'll be quieter). She has said we've been looked at for profiles but because of location not been able to be considered. We know that it will happen but I think we're both getting a little impatient at the mo. it's hard to plan anything at the mo because we don't know what will happen. I think wh...

This week we joined be my parent and have expressed interest in two separate profiles. First one the SW phoned the next morning. The second one we haven't heard anything from, its not been long so not to worry, also it's August so SW may be away on holiday etc. my logical brain is screaming at me to calm down and get on with things however every five minutes I'm checking my phone to see if I've missed a call. Refreshing emails every few minutes just in case (in case of what I don't know - not expecting an email from anyone). I'm sure I've said it before - and will say it again in the future - but this process makes you crazy. Last night I woke up in the middle of a dream about one of the profiles, I jumped out of bed (responding to an imagined cry from the spare room) with my heart racing.