An intense journey
Well we met with our social worker and the child's SW yesterday and it was, as the tittle of this post says, an intense experience. I'm trying to pick through my emotions to pinpoint what I'm feeling. It is tricky. So, dear blog, I'm going to try and set things down here in hope that things become clearer.
His Social worker is lovely, and it was great to spend some real time with our new SW. They are both very experienced and really laid it all out for us, without applying pressure. I get the feeling they think its a good match but haven't tried to push us. We both feel very supported so that is nice.
We were shown some photos of him and that has really helped to humanise him and stop him just being a set of "issues" or unknowns. He looks very cute and full of energy - most images were blurred because I guess he was jumping around a lot!
The questions about his development haven't really been answered - because no one can know 100% what will happen to him. We have a meeting on Thursday with the teams psychologist who can explain more generally about what we can expect but I know it won't be a definitive answer and probably will just reaffirm what we already know.
We have also booked an appointment for Friday morning with his foster carers who can give us more info about him day to day. They are also going to take a video of him on their phone to show us. I'm really excited about that. I think once we've seen him interacting a bit that will really help us to imagine how life would be with him.
So - all positive, or as positive as it can be. Question marks remain but they will take a long time to know more. Dr has said he will really need 18 months in a secure placement before they can really start understanding what the future will hold for him.
Also another couple we know from prep group, who were approved two weeks before us, have just started their introductions an they sent us a pic of the three of them and it just made it all so REAL! I know it's stupid to say but suddenly the reality that we're going to be parents has hit us. I'm equally excited and terrified.
I spoke to a friend about it briefly this morning and the bubble of emotion inside me felt like I was going to explode and either break down laughing hysterically or cry my eyes out (I'm not a big cryer so this feeling isn't great for me)
I think I know that if it was down to me this boy would be perfect for me - but it's not just about me, more than anything I want to protect Ben and mine relationship. Tat has to stay our core focus. I know Ben would be great with a child with this kind of needs but I'm not sure if he will feel the same. I know that the unknown is the scariest thing and he has some big unknowns. But I think our biggest fear is about forming a secure attachment and this boy has proved, in a relatively short space of time that he can form attachments and although he has some delay he is improving all the time.
So has this, ver long, post helped clarify anything ..... Nope! Still confused, still a whirlwind of emotions and still unsure of what we should do! Hey ho. Hopefully things will become clearer after these next two meetings. Hopefully.
His Social worker is lovely, and it was great to spend some real time with our new SW. They are both very experienced and really laid it all out for us, without applying pressure. I get the feeling they think its a good match but haven't tried to push us. We both feel very supported so that is nice.
We were shown some photos of him and that has really helped to humanise him and stop him just being a set of "issues" or unknowns. He looks very cute and full of energy - most images were blurred because I guess he was jumping around a lot!
The questions about his development haven't really been answered - because no one can know 100% what will happen to him. We have a meeting on Thursday with the teams psychologist who can explain more generally about what we can expect but I know it won't be a definitive answer and probably will just reaffirm what we already know.
We have also booked an appointment for Friday morning with his foster carers who can give us more info about him day to day. They are also going to take a video of him on their phone to show us. I'm really excited about that. I think once we've seen him interacting a bit that will really help us to imagine how life would be with him.
So - all positive, or as positive as it can be. Question marks remain but they will take a long time to know more. Dr has said he will really need 18 months in a secure placement before they can really start understanding what the future will hold for him.
Also another couple we know from prep group, who were approved two weeks before us, have just started their introductions an they sent us a pic of the three of them and it just made it all so REAL! I know it's stupid to say but suddenly the reality that we're going to be parents has hit us. I'm equally excited and terrified.
I spoke to a friend about it briefly this morning and the bubble of emotion inside me felt like I was going to explode and either break down laughing hysterically or cry my eyes out (I'm not a big cryer so this feeling isn't great for me)
I think I know that if it was down to me this boy would be perfect for me - but it's not just about me, more than anything I want to protect Ben and mine relationship. Tat has to stay our core focus. I know Ben would be great with a child with this kind of needs but I'm not sure if he will feel the same. I know that the unknown is the scariest thing and he has some big unknowns. But I think our biggest fear is about forming a secure attachment and this boy has proved, in a relatively short space of time that he can form attachments and although he has some delay he is improving all the time.
So has this, ver long, post helped clarify anything ..... Nope! Still confused, still a whirlwind of emotions and still unsure of what we should do! Hey ho. Hopefully things will become clearer after these next two meetings. Hopefully.
Comments
Post a Comment