How often is "too often"?

Adoption is a lot of waiting, you sit for dates for courses, wait for social workers to turn up (not that they are let just that your trying to make the house look good so once it's clean no-one can sit on the sofa because of the correct plumpness/positioning of the cushions) you wait outside panel, sure that there is no reason for them to say No but still concerned they might. You wait for phone calls to say there is a child for you. When you are linked, you wait for their social worker to visit (more cushion plumping required), after that it's waiting for dates to meet foster parents, get a date for matching panel then waiting for dates for introduction ... Then ... Well, then the wait is over and I presume there is a whole other list of waiting, but that is the time I'll be happy to wait.

At the moment we're in a new phase of waiting, a phase we've not been in before. We're waiting on a date for matching panel (and if everyone agrees we are a match for LO). His social worker, very kindly, sent us two video clips of him in a session that took place just after they visited us. He was playing and chatting to another worker and the videos have helped cement our choice, for us he's the one.

So how often is "too often"?

The videos are a tangible link to him and I am watching them daily (please bear in mind they are about 30 seconds each and not much happens in them!). If I'm really honest with myself - and you - I'm watching them more than once a day but that really does feel like too much! I want to run around showing everyone, boasting at how well "our son gets play dough out of a pot" for his social worker, it floors me as he proclaims after helping "I'm good at this" so desperate for approval and confirmation that he is good. (I think I know it verbatim now).

But always in the back of my mind is the worry that it won't go ahead, that something will happen and that I shouldn't attach too much.

However that's not me, I attach easily, I can't help it - so I'm off to watch my future son be good - because it makes me smile.

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